Mental Health System Fails Men and Families

The mental health situation in America is a disaster. Disaster. I usually go on about how women are constantly diagnosed Borderline when they indeed have Asperger's but that's not what I'm on about today. 

Let's talk about mental healthcare for men. Men can go undiagnosed and be losing their shit for years before anyone notices often, by the time you talk one into seeing a doctor instead of blaming everyone around them, their condition is way more severe than if they were diagnosed early on. Families suffer, jobs suffer, and because men often refuse the fuck out of treatment, they get swept under the "narcissist/psychopathic abuser" rug. Apparently none of these people have dealt with a narcissist and don't know what they are doing. 

And yes, you can have a mental illness that contributes to abuse, though your words and behavior are forever your own choice. 

Emergency services are a joke. Commit yourself to a ward for 5+ days and lose your job - real great idea - and that's only if you can afford insurance that covers mental health. "No you and your family can suffer for three more weeks because we can't make room for you, fuck you, psychotic piece of shit." 

Let's talk about men and emotion regulation traditionally raises men aren't taught what the hell emotions are and the one coping skill they are taught is to suck it up. So no one thinks to diagnose them with Borderline. Manipulative and can't keep your emotions or identity stable for shit? Oh you must just be depressed. Maybe you're just bipolar. Must be anxiety. No way it could be Borderline. That's a woman thing. Like tampons. 




Victims of the awful mental health system in the US extend far beyond the mentally ill themselves when it comes to explosive, personality-altering disorders. And the resources for families subjected to the untreated behavior are non-existent. Either "leave and he an independent woman despite the fact you are a house wife," or "be supportive praise Jesus and things will be fine. Take it up the ass." 

You think the divorce rate is all about cheating? No. You think the unemployment rate, the amount of people on welfare is all about "laziness?" It's about a lot more than that. Mental healthcare has to change. This system is killing people. 

Super Unique and Special In Every Way - Personality Disordered Idiocy

I have not updated in a very long time; I have been preoccupied. I was writing professionally for a site, which now has most of my old blog posts and a lot of newer content. I also got married and am almost 9 months pregnant. I will be giving birth to a baby girl in just a few weeks. Life has changed a lot, and I cannot wait to not be pregnant anymore and to continue with this new phase.

If you are familiar with my usual content, you know I study personality disorders, especially those in the more dangerous category. In the last 9 months, I have continued to study and write about such, but I have certainly become disenchanted with the individuals themselves. I talk to many. I now understand one reason therapists are not allowed to be "friends" with their patients. When I announced the pregnancy, peoples true colors began to really shine through (as does everyones when there are issues of birth, weddings, death etc) and those with Personality Disorders were no different. Reactions ranged from being annoyed and hateful that I wouldn't be able to donate as much time to them, to asking me why I wasn't going to get an abortion, to concerns about the fact that I wouldn't be thin anymore (and I'm not - I'm huge, but its temporary and it's none of anyones business.) It was a bit frazzling. Most assumed that I was also personality deficit in some way - unable to really be a parent or handle pregnancy.  Some of them outright attacked me, or if I expressed annoyance with certain things (like being asked why I didn't get an abortion) the attitude was that I was the one with a personality hangup - not them.

I quickly realized (not that I did not know already) that many Personality Disordered individuals find themselves EXTREMELY FUCKING INTERESTING, especially if they are Cluster B or have paranoid tendencies. They can talk about each tiny detail of their emotional or mental landscape for hours - do not dare try to talk about yourself or they will tell you they are not interested or they will be accusational, projecting their own traits onto you until you just shut up so they can return to talking about themselves. And if you even begin to think about telling them "This is Narcissism, you don't really seem to be the cold calculating Psychopath you claim to be" or "You aren't all that different from a self-absorbed teenager" they will say you are certainly attacking them and that you are crazy and personality deficient. I believe that people in general self-project a lot, but those with Personality Disorders do so immensely. I'm not sure they can help it - many of them cannot fathom that, although they are Super Unique And Special in Every Way, others do not experience the world as they do. Not everyone has Narcissism, Sadistic, or Avoidant tinted glasses on. You cannot be Super Unique And Special In Every Way and also know what everyone's motives are.

I do not intend to stop studying Personality Disorders, although this will certainly take a backseat to other things in my life (being a wife and mother and whatnot.) But I am not enchanted with those who have the disorders. Everyone - no matter how healthy - has characteristics of one or more Personality Disorders, and these tend to come out under stress - but having a diagnosis (or self diagnosis) does not make you special. Do you want a cookie for your behavioral pattern issues? Do you realize that you can't even plead insanity with a Personality Disorder? That's right, motherfucker, you are in control of your behavior. Of course, I do know that, depending on the disorder, there is a lot of grief to be had as far as anxiety, depression, isolation, and that many people with the disorders do not like that they have them. But there are those who turn it into their identity, and the ones who do that have no idea what the world, or other people, are actually like. Sometimes after a conversation, I'm just totally bewildered by some of the things I'm told and asked. Trying to explain empathy (not that I have a lot) or trying to explain emotions to someone who cannot really feel them is like trying to explain color to someone who sees black and white. Sorry sir but getting offended is not going to make me "admit" that I don't know how to socialize or how to relate to others. I refuse to let such people make me question my own sanity - and trust me, people, if anyone can make you question your own reality, it's people who are out of touch with it.