Most of the time, when I go out, I don't come home thinking "That was a great idea! Can't wait to do that again soon!" No, not at all. I usually am so relieved and then want to punch myself for going to try and be a part of the human world.
There are reasons for this (other than the good things I can do alone.)
One reason is that I have no one to actually become friends with. I do not get along with females. I ever have. Not even as a little kid. I still do not and if I do they're 35+. It just doesn't work out but maybe twice in my life. They're very emotional, usually Feelers, often times Extroverted Sensing Feeling Percievers which makes me wants to smash something. I cannot to relate to the world in ONE SINGLE WAY that they also do. Except that we both get periods.Females are long winded as fuck. Get to the point before I get to the tire iron.
Guys, I can be friends with, very happily, very functionally. They can't be friends with me though. It's their fault, and they try to cross boundaries. I've ended up in stupid situations because of my naiveness being taken advantage of. Or, they are/were my friend, but now they have a girlfriend and aren't allowed to be my friend anymore. Which I understand. Still sucks.
So I'm left here, part of the population in need of hermaphrodite aesexual friends, and we are largely uncatered to.
Another reason is that people are stupid. I can be sitting with a group of people my age (18-23) and it's like being on the short bus. I fail at understanding humor in many cases, or at even noticing it, but I can sometimes tell if something I say is funny by whether or not my therapist or professors would laugh at it. It doesn't matter how funny I am, or anything, because these people don't get it. They're the kind of people who will fight with themselves over their own honeybun. They can be amused by small talk though?
And if small talk is so great, why does everyone talk over me when I try to participate.
And then wonder why I often take on an aggressive demeanor in social settings and revert back to usual one-on-one?
Also, being asked "are you okay" over and over and over makes me less than okay. "You look like you're spaced out" yeah well I might be because you're boring or because OH YEAH for the last time, I'm not making eye contact and you're trying to move to force me to do so and I have to look all over the room to avoid it. Making assumptions about my well being or even worse, assuming I'm shy and insisting I'm shy after I explain to you that I am not shy, is annoying.
And don't try to tickle me to make me laugh because you are uneasy about my non-reaction to whatever thing I "totally had to see."
Fuck you.
Dizzy.
There are reasons for this (other than the good things I can do alone.)
One reason is that I have no one to actually become friends with. I do not get along with females. I ever have. Not even as a little kid. I still do not and if I do they're 35+. It just doesn't work out but maybe twice in my life. They're very emotional, usually Feelers, often times Extroverted Sensing Feeling Percievers which makes me wants to smash something. I cannot to relate to the world in ONE SINGLE WAY that they also do. Except that we both get periods.Females are long winded as fuck. Get to the point before I get to the tire iron.
Guys, I can be friends with, very happily, very functionally. They can't be friends with me though. It's their fault, and they try to cross boundaries. I've ended up in stupid situations because of my naiveness being taken advantage of. Or, they are/were my friend, but now they have a girlfriend and aren't allowed to be my friend anymore. Which I understand. Still sucks.
So I'm left here, part of the population in need of hermaphrodite aesexual friends, and we are largely uncatered to.
Another reason is that people are stupid. I can be sitting with a group of people my age (18-23) and it's like being on the short bus. I fail at understanding humor in many cases, or at even noticing it, but I can sometimes tell if something I say is funny by whether or not my therapist or professors would laugh at it. It doesn't matter how funny I am, or anything, because these people don't get it. They're the kind of people who will fight with themselves over their own honeybun. They can be amused by small talk though?
And if small talk is so great, why does everyone talk over me when I try to participate.
And then wonder why I often take on an aggressive demeanor in social settings and revert back to usual one-on-one?
Also, being asked "are you okay" over and over and over makes me less than okay. "You look like you're spaced out" yeah well I might be because you're boring or because OH YEAH for the last time, I'm not making eye contact and you're trying to move to force me to do so and I have to look all over the room to avoid it. Making assumptions about my well being or even worse, assuming I'm shy and insisting I'm shy after I explain to you that I am not shy, is annoying.
And don't try to tickle me to make me laugh because you are uneasy about my non-reaction to whatever thing I "totally had to see."
Fuck you.
Dizzy.
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