Monday, July 8, 2013

On Erika Being My Sub-conscience

Erika Cohen is the central character in the Euthanasia trilogy, a series of books I wrote beginning in 2007. It revolves around Erika and her best friend Lewis, and a suicide pact she created. Plot aside, Erika exists outside of Euthanasia, Two Hearts, and Appleseeds.

As I have said, I do practices to converse with my subconscious mind, and one of these practices is to make myself use my less dominant hand. I have noticed when drawing Erika, playing with my doll, or writing on any Euthanasia book, that I stim more with my left hand and I also tend to type more with my left hand. But only when writing and drawing Euthanasia. 
But I "created" Erika at age 15, with no character design. She just happened. 15 was a rough age for me. 

So my thoughts are that my subconscience took the form of Erika when I was 15, around the time when I became intensely self-aware and my suppression of what pain I felt from my outer-life was overflowing, I sat down one day and wrote a journal entry as my sub-conscience. And then Euthanasia happened. But the idea of Erika stuck.
If I look around at my belongings right now, it is heavily Erika-influenced.

Then there's Lewis, who is an empath and the opposite of me, which I formulated to work with and against what appears to be my sub-conscience, by using morality to rationalize his thoughts but also accepting the logic Erika presents. He recognizes a degree things the rest of the cast does not.  



To back up my sub-conscience theory even further, Erika is almost always in my lucid dreams, and it's the only time I can speak in my dreams.

People who have read my book don't be afraid.
That's all plot.

Dizzy.


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